If you do not typically work with grief, PTSD, or veterans, Memorial Day may not immediately stand out as clinically significant in your practice. However, every year around Memorial Day, many veterans — as well as family members who have lost loved ones in military service — experience increases in depression, anxiety, grief and adjustment reactions, and PTSD symptoms.

For some clients, these reactions are obvious. For others, they are not. Symptoms may intensify before or after the holiday without the client directly connecting it to Memorial Day, or without mentioning military experiences at all.

If you notice a sudden shift in a client this time of year — worsening mood, irritability, sleep difficulties, emotional withdrawal, increased anxiety, or emotional dysregulation — it may be worth gently exploring whether grief, loss, trauma, or military experiences are playing a role.

Just as clinicians learn to anticipate emotional responses around birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays, Memorial Day can also carry significant emotional weight for many individuals.

A Clinical Reminder I Have Never Forgotten

Identifying details in the following account have been changed to protect client confidentiality.

Years ago, I worked in a rehabilitation center and treated a patient adjusting to life after surgery. Our sessions initially focused on physical rehabilitation, emotional adjustment, and coping with temporary disability. During intake, he never identified himself as a veteran. He discussed previous jobs and life experiences, but military service never came up.

Over time, I realized that omission was intentional.

Therapy was progressing well until May arrived. Suddenly, symptoms I had never observed before began to emerge. He became increasingly irritable in sessions, struggled with sleep, and nursing staff reported changes in his behavior during physical therapy. What caught me off guard was that, physically, he was improving.

One day, while reviewing the rehabilitation center’s activity calendar with another patient, I noticed a Memorial Day service scheduled for later that month. Almost casually, I decided to ask him whether he had ever lost anyone during military service or combat.

By then, we had already been working together for several weeks and had developed good rapport.

That was the moment he shared that he had served in the Army and had lost several close friends during a bombing on base. He explained that he had previously received treatment for PTSD years earlier and believed he had “moved on.”

What surprised him most was not the memories themselves, but how strongly they resurfaced. Being surrounded by injured patients in rehabilitation while Memorial Day approached appeared to reactivate grief and trauma responses he thought were long resolved.

At that point, the focus of treatment shifted. We spent less time discussing physical rehabilitation and more time processing grief, loss, and emotional triggers.

I still carry that experience closely because it reminds me that therapy is rarely linear.

As clinicians, we sometimes assume that intake provides us with the most important aspects of a client’s history. In reality, intake occurs when we are still strangers to one another. Not every client feels safe enough to disclose deeply personal experiences immediately. Some clients reveal themselves slowly over time, and meaningful therapeutic relationships can still develop beautifully within that slower process.

That experience taught me something important: when something feels clinically “off,” ask more questions. Even questions that initially feel unrelated or unexpected may open the door to understanding what is truly happening for a client.

Memorial Day as a Clinical Trigger

Many therapists do not routinely ask clients how holidays affect them emotionally. Yet holidays often carry grief, trauma, loneliness, guilt, family conflict, or painful memories.

One practice I have intentionally incorporated into my work is checking in with clients about upcoming holidays and anniversaries — and documenting those check-ins so the pattern is visible across the year rather than rediscovered each season:

“How do you usually experience this holiday?”
“Does this time of year bring anything up emotionally for you?”
“Are there memories or feelings that tend to surface around this time?”

These conversations can provide valuable clinical insight, especially for clients who struggle to identify emotional triggers independently.

As psychologists and therapists, we each develop our own style and approach, but increasing awareness around emotionally loaded dates can significantly deepen our clinical understanding.

”I Don’t Specialize in PTSD or Grief — What Do I Do?”

Many therapists will encounter grief or trauma reactions even if it is not their specialty area.

If these concerns emerge temporarily while the primary focus of therapy remains something else, lean into your strengths as a clinician:

Focus on the therapeutic alliance
Help clients identify and strengthen coping skills
Normalize emotional activation around significant dates
Encourage grounding, regulation, and support systems
Stay curious and compassionate

Often, a strong therapeutic relationship itself becomes deeply stabilizing during difficult periods.

It can also be helpful to:

Seek consultation or supervision
Read more about grief and trauma responses
Explore continuing education opportunities
Familiarize yourself with veteran-specific mental health concerns

There are many excellent resources available for clinicians who want to build competence in these areas.

However, if grief, PTSD, or trauma processing becomes the central focus of treatment and falls outside your scope of competence, referral to a specialist may be clinically appropriate.

When the Therapist Is Triggered Too

Memorial Day can also affect clinicians personally.

Therapists may carry their own grief, military experiences, family losses, trauma histories, or emotional associations connected to this time of year. Mental health professionals are not immune to anniversaries, reminders, or emotional activation.

If you notice yourself feeling emotionally impacted this month, it is important to acknowledge it honestly and compassionately.

Ask yourself:

What do I need most right now?
Do I need more rest or time off?
Would reducing my caseload temporarily help?
Do I need consultation, supervision, or my own therapy?
What would support me emotionally on Memorial Day itself?

Self-awareness is not selfish in clinical work. It is ethical and necessary.

Grounding and Coping Strategies to Offer Clients (and Use Yourself)

The strategies below work both as interventions to guide clients through and as practices to steady yourself. Where it helps, the framing is written so you can adapt it directly into session.

Pause and Name What’s Present

Invite the client — or yourself — to slow down and identify which emotions are actually present: sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, anxiety. Naming emotions can reduce their intensity and create space for processing.

Journal Without Judgment

A few minutes of writing about thoughts, memories, or feelings can help. The goal is not polished writing or immediate insight; simply putting emotions into words can reduce emotional pressure.

Practice Grounding Techniques

Painful memories and grief can pull people away from the present moment. Grounding exercises help reconnect the nervous system to the here and now. One simple five-senses exercise: notice what you can see, hear, feel, smell, and taste. It is commonly used to reduce panic and emotional overwhelm.

Encourage a Slow Walk Outside

Fresh air, sunlight, and gentle movement help regulate both body and mind. Encourage slow breathing and mindful attention to the present environment.

Use Mindfulness or Meditation

Mindfulness exercises can help create emotional steadiness during difficult moments. One helpful option is “Dropping the Anchor,” a brief grounding practice from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT):

Dropping the Anchor Audio Exercise

Counter Isolation

Grief often becomes heavier in isolation. Encourage connection with supportive people whenever possible — friends, family members, fellow veterans, support groups, trusted professionals, and even pets and small moments of companionship. Connection matters.

If additional support is needed, encourage clients to reach out to local VA hospitals, mental health professionals, crisis resources, or therapy services. For veterans and their families specifically, the Veterans Crisis Line is available by calling 988 and pressing 1, or by texting 838255. If a client is experiencing suicidal thoughts or is in immediate crisis, they should contact 988, call 911, or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.

This Memorial Day, may we honor not only those who were lost, but also those who continue carrying that loss every day.

I’ve also written a companion piece you can share directly with clients, veterans, and military families this time of year: Memorial Day and the Weight of Grief for Veterans and Military Families.

Memorial Day and Therapy: What Clinicians May Miss About This Time of Year